You’ve probably heard “You must be the change you want to see.” But how do you ensure a transformation endures? If you don’t align your outer actions with your new inner wisdom, nothing actually changes.
Back in the 80’s, as a Certified Rolfer—a form of deep tissue bodywork focusing on structural alignment—I encountered a powerful lesson through a prison guard client. Suffering from severe back pain, he initially sought relief. Yet, as his body began to become more flexible, he stopped the process, unable to face the emotional vulnerability and potential life changes associated with his transformation.
Burnout and injury forced me from software development 21 years ago. I was excited to launch a new career as a business coach, but I soon found myself repeating old patterns. Despite good intentions, I approached my new profession with the same type-A workaholic behavior, quickly experiencing the same exhaustion and joint pain.
These experiences taught me that meaningful change requires more than shifting thoughts or situations—it demands a fundamental realignment of our behaviors and priorities.
Embodying the essence of who you really are means making daily choices that honor your deepest calling. Yet we often sabotage this process through habits such as these:
- Ignoring Purposeful Priorities – Getting distracted from our true mission, like spending hours online instead of writing that book or developing that strategic plan.
- Avoiding Risk – Allowing inner protectors to keep us “safe” by avoiding public speaking or not taking controversial stands.
- People Pleasing – Caring for everyone else while neglecting our own needs, perpetually seeking external validation.
Breaking these patterns requires getting curious about the underlying motivations.
If you’re consistently distracted, examine the activities you’re doing instead of your core work. Are you chasing quick, easier rewards? Break your significant projects into smaller, manageable steps. If your priority requires a lot of time working alone, intentionally schedule connection and support times.
When facing challenges, negotiate with your inner protectors. Set realistic risk parameters that balance safety with growth. For people-pleasing tendencies, give yourself more love and acceptance to reduce the need for external approval.
Embodying our essence is one of life’s most creative challenge. As we align our actions with our deepest truths, a whole new freedom of expression becomes possible.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Is it time to embody more of your inner wisdom?