We live in challenging times that test our resilience—political polarization, global crises, and personal stressors can leave us feeling overwhelmed and reactive. Many of us wonder how to maintain our center when everything seems to be in constant upheaval.
When we allow ourselves to get caught in reactivity, we disconnect from the very resources we need to respond effectively to these mounting challenges. Our reactive patterns cloud our judgment and drain our energy.
To see clearly and make purposeful choices about where to focus our attention and energy, we need to pause, breathe, and find our ground beneath the waves of reaction. From this centered place, we can discern what is truly ours to do and act with intention rather than impulse.
When external events throw me off center, one of my favorite questions is: “Who am I taking myself to be right now?” This simple question helps me recognize when I’m identifying with a limited part of myself rather than accessing my deeper wisdom.
Our psyches naturally contain different aspects or “parts,” each with distinct perspectives and concerns. These parts may sometimes disagree with each other, creating inner conflict. This multiplicity isn’t itself a problem—it’s part of our human complexity.
The challenge arises when we mistake one part’s perspective for our whole identity. Identifying too strongly with a single reactive part closes down our full range of responses. When this happens, our view narrows and we lose access to our creativity, compassion, and clarity. I can speak from personal experience!
Reactivity often signals that we’re defending against vulnerable feelings from earlier experiences. Something in the present moment may trigger old feelings of helplessness or fear, prompting us to react defensively rather than respond mindfully.
Imagine instead responding to challenges from a place of grounded awareness—noticing injustice without being consumed by it, feeling authentic concern without being overwhelmed, and taking purposeful action aligned with your deepest values.
Uncovering who we’re “taking ourselves to be” in any moment creates this clarity. Approaching this inquiry with playful curiosity rather than self-judgment makes the process both more effective and more enjoyable.
Here’s an exercise to try when you feel triggered or reactive:
- Identify a situation or person that triggers strong reactions in you—someone whose actions or words consistently take you off center.
- Take several deep breaths to bring yourself into the present moment. If it helps, place a hand on your heart or stomach to anchor your awareness in your body.
- Visualize the person or situation while staying connected to your own sense of inner wisdom. Notice what feelings arise in your body.
- Ask yourself: “Who am I taking myself to be right now?” and “When have I felt this way before?” Record any insights that emerge.
- If this exercise feels too challenging to do alone, practice with a supportive friend or work with a coach or therapist who can help you navigate difficult emotions.
As we reconnect with our deeper identity beyond reactive patterns, we access the full range of resources needed to meet today’s challenges with wisdom, creativity, and compassion. From this grounded place, we can contribute effectively to creating a better world where everyone’s true gifts are recognized and honored.
Ultimately, finding your ground isn’t about bypassing difficult emotions—it’s about meeting them from a place of spacious awareness so you can respond with your full intelligence rather than react from the wounds of your past.